Daily Notes for a Healthy Sexuality - Special Sexual Health Week

Last Friday was World Sexual Health Day, and Sunday the 7th was Sex Day. We are in the so-called Sexual Health Week. All these dates are an opportunity to reflect a little more deeply about our sexuality and perhaps an opportunity to normalize its situation—not only its most accepted side, regarding sexual health, but also sexuality in a more loving, playful, or even spiritual way.

Sexuality seems like that daughter who has grown up, and we have hardly noticed that she has become an adult.

A young woman with whom we could openly talk about things, but we still don't dare, due to our fears and because we still don't feel she is mature or ready for it. But who really isn't ready—her to listen or us to talk? Or perhaps she should speak, and we should listen to her a little more. Maybe she's not that naive. Maybe she has some wrong ideas. But we will only know that if we are able to build a trusting relationship and talk with respect but without taboos.

“There is a double standard and a significant lack of education in this area. And I don't just mention this because of the contrast between the prohibition of showing a nipple on Instagram and the huge amount of pornography that runs on the internet. Sex is a normal thing, a very important part of our lives, but it is still not treated with enough normality, nor can we talk seriously and deeply without someone blushing or even labeling you as a pervert. So, let's take advantage of this opportunity when it seems that even the authorities emphasize the need to talk about sexuality to share some ideas that may seem simple, but allow us to start discussing and talking clearly about these aspects.”

Sex is not just penetration, and it's okay if it doesn't work for you. There are many other ways to achieve great amounts of pleasure and even orgasms without going through penetration. The best way to discover it is by exploring your body and your partner's body. Don't call it foreplay, as if it were something to do before actually having sex. That is already sex, and if you do it right, it's better than the actual "sex."

Sex does not have to be an obligation. Sex is a moment of connection and intimacy in which two (it can actually be one, two, or more people, but the most conventional practice is as a couple) share their desire. Do it when you feel comfortable and willing.

If there is pain (except in BDSM practices), there is no healthy sex. If the sexual relationships you have do not bring you pleasure and you suffer in any way, whether physically or emotionally, seek help. There are many professionals who can help you, but they need you to take the initiative because they do not know what you are experiencing in your intimacy. It's not a shame to talk about it with your gynecologist, sexologist, or tantric therapist; on the contrary, they can offer some insight on how to transform your experiences.

Practice sex first and foremost for yourself. Sexual practices are moments of exchange, which involves giving but also receiving. If sex is always for the other person, you are not in a balanced relationship, and it is important, without having to measure it, to find ways and practices that can be satisfying for both.

Did you like this message? Share it with someone you think might be interested.